Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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