Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
