Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize