It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
