This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
