I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize