I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
