fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
