sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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