the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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