dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it hurts more in the daytime
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
