no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
