Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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