shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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