Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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