He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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