i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
