its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
