Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
