We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
