I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
