I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
