How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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