You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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