I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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