you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize