Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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