it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
