can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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