at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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