thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize