She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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