In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
