remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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