ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
