Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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