what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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