I'm eating all of the evidence.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
