is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
