Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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