she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
