Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
