and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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