So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
