two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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