how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
