I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
