we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
