i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
