the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
