did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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