He kissed a someone with a penis
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize