Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize