can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
