you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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