this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
