Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
