is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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