I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize