Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
