I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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