Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
