Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
