we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
