Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
