let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize