i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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