I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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